HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
