I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
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You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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