Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Randomize
