Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
