i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
