I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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