Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
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I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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