Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
