Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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