i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
