i barfeds in our rink
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
jump out the window naked night went bad
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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