jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
