Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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