omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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