Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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