i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
