I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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