Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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