New invention idea: vibrating tampons
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
