You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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