when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
