when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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