How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
