yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.