oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
