she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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