When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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