BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
