I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
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Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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