You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
