i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You ruined the universe
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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