I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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