ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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