NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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