hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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