i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
