Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
