So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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