I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
