I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
