Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
