Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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