New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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