There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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