Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
