one might say we're banned from that church
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
