that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize