what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
