I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
