their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
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I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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