I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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