I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
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Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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