I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize