Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
