I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
