official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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