ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
