I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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