I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
