and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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