There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize