Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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