How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
